Ofc I don’t mean literal biting before someone will say what do you mean but I’ve lowkey always thought it was very difficult to talk and relate with boys.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe60bf531-e545-4845-b5d2-5394906793f6_828x929.jpeg)
I grew up in a girls only environment, all my siblings are girls. I didn’t go to a girls only school but somehow it has been really difficult to talk to boys. Don’t judge me, that’s what I’ve been made to believe, in my head.
I’ve never been in a romantic relationship. Scar? Yes but not an actual ‘this is my man’ thingy. I used to find it really cringe but asides that, I think I wasn’t able to hold it down.
I love love when I’m very comfortable. I wish there was never a need to interact with boys and even girls alike but how impossible cos at the end of the day it’s the people that surround us that help us to feel loved when we need it (or want it).
These days when people ask me why I’ve never been in a relationship, I just smile and try to wave off the topic or I just bring up the most ridiculous response. I once told someone it was because I wanted to face my studies (of cos I lied. I’m a smart girl and I just knew not to waste my parents money whether someone was giving me butterflies or not). The truth is I don’t know or at least I didn’t know. I think relationships are supposed to happen naturally.
Your coursemates thinks ‘she presents so well I like that, let me make a move’ but ofc I cannot be caught dead with my coursemate so as he’s taking one step forward, I’m taking two steps back and I’m running away immediately.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1f064438-8df0-4b11-8ad0-64e54b1cb7e3_625x415.jpeg)
The other places that love could have happened (for me in uni) were in cafeteria but I’m always with at least 3 people and we laugh so loud you would think we were alone there, car park but I don’t go out, faculty of engineering to read but I preferred to read on the staircase near my room, random places but I don’t decide to go out randomly, it never happened.
And I’m wondering why I’ve never been in a relationship
Ugh, I wish I lived more in uni
I’ve always loved the idea of romance. I’m a huge fan of it. In fact I’ve watched the romantic comedy movies on my laptop like 3 times each. I’ve watched some a little more than that; Resort to love(I would act it out for you if you want). I like the idea of it, in my head.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Feee0367d-d934-4fb4-9078-d2647839bad2_736x736.jpeg)
They say men are wicked, though they’ve not been wicked to me but I’ve seen evidence because the things I’m hearinggg
I fear closure with everybody but I dread it more with boys or men. I mean what really do you want from me?
At this point, you’re probably already thinking I have so many problems and I agree with you cos why would I think someone who’s clearly just stating how they feel about me want to bite me? O deep!
Post uni, the first person that told me they liked me, I cried that day. This is not even a matter of whether I feel worthy of the love or not (even if that’s also a concern), it was a matter of me thinking so that means I get to think of someone, include him in my plans, allow him into my space, speak up on certain days even if I don’t feel like, tell him about my days and all of that. I wasn’t ready for that so I told him off immediately and he actually stopped talking to me.
Ouch, I guess you can’t eat your cake and have it then.
The other day at work while we were less busy I was talking with the doctors around, two of them and they were so close but they didn’t bite me. We just had a normal conversation like I would with my roommates in school and it was great.
I have a work that makes me make small talks with people whether I like it or not and also takes me a little out of my comfort zone. I also think I’m not doing bad with conversations with boys now than I used to.
Maybe I should stop making those conversations in my head and start making them real life. Maybe I should also stop giving excuses to go out whenever anyone wants to see me now I know that boys don’t bite. Maybe I should stop hiding how funny I am so I can see the way boys smile(laugh). Maybe I should free my mind and just talk. Maybe I should not think it impossible that the kind of romance I want is not somewhere looking me right in the face. Maybe you shouldn’t too!
I have a problem, I know and I’m working on myself.
I’m not asking for advice but if you have you can as well drop them.
Whether you’ve never been in a relationship before because you used to think boys bite or you have been in one but things got messy and you’re hardening your heart, well boys don’t bite!
This is not a pr for boys!
Open your heart to love but ask God for help, first!
Thanks for reading. Let’s gossip about boys in the comment section, yeah?
Till next time,
Damilola.
So we I have a partner on this table